The Gratitude You Earn
Dear Collective,
This week, let’s talk about a tough kind of gratitude—the kind that requires a perspective shift: Be grateful for all the obstacles in life. They have strengthened you as you continue the journey.
It’s easy to look back at the screw-ups, the tough times, or the choices we regret and think, "I would be better off if I had never done that." But the truth is, the absence of struggle doesn't build character. It builds naivety. True appreciation is forged in the fire of overcoming.
I started drinking at fourteen, smoking more than a pack of cigarettes a day by 21. I genuinely believed I was going to die a smoker and a drinker because I felt it was part of who I was. I used them as ways to cope with social anxiety. I felt I was only “myself” when I was intoxicated. That was the plan for years. I was able to become a high-functioning drunk, sneaking a few Jack & Cokes at lunch and going back to work or being at the bar so much, everyone knew my name… It’s not the flex you think it is.
Now, I look at it differently. I can say I have gone almost a full year—eleven months now—without a drink. I wake up more energized than I ever have. I have zero desire for cigarettes. There is still a fully stocked bar in my house. I don't mess with it. The fact that the obstacle is still there, but I have no desire to engage with it, is proof of strength I wouldn't have otherwise.
We are not better off if we never struggled. We are better off because we struggled.
The hardship I endured helped me understand the fight, which is now helping me tackle things like my binge eating issues. It helped me overcome social anxiety, forcing me to film videos and step in front of the camera, something I was terrified of. That hard-won victory allows me to find true appreciation for the good things that are right here, right now.
If you are currently facing a struggle, do not wish it away. Use it. It is giving you the opportunity to extend your resilience, your control, and your discipline. On the days you make it through without caving, you are forging a strength that will never be taken from you.
With Strength and Kindness, Charlie