Both Brave and Terrified
Dear Collective,
As we settle into this new year and this new space in Oak Park, there is a lot of noise. Change is loud, and if we’re being honest, change is usually pretty scary. We often talk about "having courage" as if it’s this magical state where fear simply disappears. But I don't think that’s what courage actually looks like.
It’s recognizing that you are scared of what’s ahead but choosing to hold on for just one more moment anyway. It’s not the lack of fear; it’s the patience to stick around when every instinct you have is telling you to run or give up.
The intention this week is, “You are allowed to be both brave and terrified amidst change.”
I’ve felt this deeply within my own journey over this past year. For a long time, I was terrified that I was always going to be "that person," the one who needed a drink to function or to handle the stress of life. I was scared that my character was permanently tied to a bottle and that I’d never be able to break that script.
But I chose to stay in that mess for just one more hour. One more day. Now, having crossed that one-year mark of sobriety, I feel a level of bravery I didn’t think was possible. There is alcohol in my house right now, but I have zero compelling nature to consume it. Even on the worst of the worst days, when the world is heavy and the stress is high, it just doesn't matter the way it used to. I held on through the terror of change long enough to realize I am no longer that person.
That same internal courage is what we need when we look at the world around us. Standing up for the oppressed and recognizing the way agencies like ICE are mistreating human beings can be bone-chillingly scary. It is normal to feel that fear.
But to stand there and say, "I am not backing down," and to use your voice for those who are being mistreated, is the ultimate expression of being both brave and terrified. You can feel the cold chill of fear and still choose to stay. You can be scared of the consequences and still be brave enough to stand up for what is right.
Courage isn't a feeling; it’s a choice to stay. It’s the decision to give yourself one more day to be better, one more hour to be kind, and one more moment to stand up for another human being. We’re all in the midst of change, and it’s okay to be scared. Just don’t let the fear be the thing that makes you back down.
With Strength and Adaptability,
Charlie